Assaulted

I was on the way home from the bar, my friends left me there. I was 17. And I fell on the way home trying to take a shortcut, through some bushes, some guy helped me home and into my room and I passed out in my bed, I woke up with him on me and he was gone in the morning. 

 I went to High School four hours away from my hometown, I never told anyone because I was ashamed. 

Intimacy scared me after that, but I didn’t ever want to tell anyone. I still to this day have not told anyone, and I have no clue why I am telling you. For a long time I could just only feel comfortable with intimacy if I was intoxicated, and I’ve ruined relationships by stiffening up by touch… I just got tougher and tougher, plowing through.