It's like mourning a loss that was never a loss because it never happened, but we both wanted it.
The grief of memories never created and my own thoughts ripped apart by reality. I always hoped that if you wanted something enough, it would happen, and it was so close that I could taste it.
Once upon a time there was a movie called Reality Bites, and when it came out, I never got the word play, my English wasn't good enough. I hope it's a word play, or I'm probably sounding stupid now.
But the bits of reality bites, and the nights are still dark, but summer comes with the never setting sun, and I wanted that to shine, on you and me.
And I think about last year, when I almost told you, and I didn't dare, or months before that when I cried into a salad and didn't tell you, or when I tried to kiss you and you asked me why, and I didn't tell you, I played it off. You must have known, didnt you? I almost spoke the words that time when I woke up with your arms around me, and I didn't tell you,nor that time when you asked me to stay with you, and I did. Or those two weeks in May when I didn't stay with you because I knew I didn't dare to tell you and I was scared to get hurt. And now reality just bites, because I knew that day I walked into your place and that girl was there, that it was to late.
I was gonna tell you on that trip, that weekend, I had planned it out. I could tell you had already slept together, she owned you, circled around you, and you invited her to come. Your roommate hugged me. And you posed in photos with her, made her bed and I cried into my beer and it was awkward.
And I told you, and you let a month pass, and I waited and then said yes, and then you didn't wanna fight, you ran back to that girl, because it was easy. And it bites, bits and pieces bites, so hard right then. She told me and I cried into a field and you didnt talk to me. You told me you always be there for me if I really needed you. You said she meant nothing, that I was so much better. I hate hate hate that I can't sleep because I'm thinking of you and that so delightful plastic doll that I know you like more than you will ever tell me. Smiling so perfect, doing the same things as you, being able to be and go wherever you go. I can't even hate her because she's your friend, and she's a mean girl, she will wrap all the guys around her fingers, and that first time I met her, on my hometurf, I had already lost.
But at least I put up a fight, I finally told you... and I know it is not only her, it is you who didnt choose me, and it is you who decided to roadtrip with her instead of seeing me. You tell me you just don't have the time and I understand, and I still dream of a miracle, that you will wake up, and see what we could be. At least to try, if we fail we know we have failed.
Now it is just you and me, friends on fire in a vacuum that kills me.
The grief of memories never created and my own thoughts ripped apart by reality. I always hoped that if you wanted something enough, it would happen, and it was so close that I could taste it.
Once upon a time there was a movie called Reality Bites, and when it came out, I never got the word play, my English wasn't good enough. I hope it's a word play, or I'm probably sounding stupid now.
But the bits of reality bites, and the nights are still dark, but summer comes with the never setting sun, and I wanted that to shine, on you and me.
And I think about last year, when I almost told you, and I didn't dare, or months before that when I cried into a salad and didn't tell you, or when I tried to kiss you and you asked me why, and I didn't tell you, I played it off. You must have known, didnt you? I almost spoke the words that time when I woke up with your arms around me, and I didn't tell you,nor that time when you asked me to stay with you, and I did. Or those two weeks in May when I didn't stay with you because I knew I didn't dare to tell you and I was scared to get hurt. And now reality just bites, because I knew that day I walked into your place and that girl was there, that it was to late.
I was gonna tell you on that trip, that weekend, I had planned it out. I could tell you had already slept together, she owned you, circled around you, and you invited her to come. Your roommate hugged me. And you posed in photos with her, made her bed and I cried into my beer and it was awkward.
And I told you, and you let a month pass, and I waited and then said yes, and then you didn't wanna fight, you ran back to that girl, because it was easy. And it bites, bits and pieces bites, so hard right then. She told me and I cried into a field and you didnt talk to me. You told me you always be there for me if I really needed you. You said she meant nothing, that I was so much better. I hate hate hate that I can't sleep because I'm thinking of you and that so delightful plastic doll that I know you like more than you will ever tell me. Smiling so perfect, doing the same things as you, being able to be and go wherever you go. I can't even hate her because she's your friend, and she's a mean girl, she will wrap all the guys around her fingers, and that first time I met her, on my hometurf, I had already lost.
But at least I put up a fight, I finally told you... and I know it is not only her, it is you who didnt choose me, and it is you who decided to roadtrip with her instead of seeing me. You tell me you just don't have the time and I understand, and I still dream of a miracle, that you will wake up, and see what we could be. At least to try, if we fail we know we have failed.
Now it is just you and me, friends on fire in a vacuum that kills me.
