Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Funny how it works with timing

Once upon a time I met you, it was a whirlwind of unicorns, of me being insecure, in love and wanting to be with you. It was a long time ago, I wanted to be everythign you needed, I was hanging at your every word. You said jump, and I did. You broke my heart, you didn't just break it, you stomped on it and went on with life. you got someone hotter, straighter and different, somone that wasn't me.
I must admitt, you left me a littel crazy, and with a heart hurting so bad I spun out of control, you were that one person I acctually thougth I could marry, that I could spend the rest of my life with. I was dumb, you were still hung up on your ex, you were in transition, you wanted to party and make out with everyone, and I was just a pretty face in your life. I walked behind you and picked up pieces of your drunk ass, I paid your way and I truly loved you because I saw the greatness in you, what we could have been. I did see somethign that never became, adn you left me and I cried. LOTS!
Today, we talked, out of the blue we talked, and you said you wanted to reconnect, it has been eight years, I don't know if that be good, in any sort of way. You own a house you are selling, you date straighter girls than I do, and you probably think I'm still that insecure girl that worshipped you. I'm not... and I wonder, if we would have met now, would we fall in love, if we didn't have history, would we fall into each others arms?
Woudl you pick me up and run away with me, like you did that first time we met? 

Monday, January 13, 2014

the L-word

we don't say that we love each other, but I do love you.
The way my hand hold your, is the way I tell you I love you.
I hope you can see the love in my eyes, because it is there.
You chew on your fingers when you are nervous, or anxious, or anything.
I cry, my eyes fill up with a resovoir of water, and tears slowly find their ways down my cheeks... I cry because it's in me, I feel lonley withour you.

I think we protect ourselves byt not saying that we love each other, but if you leave me, it will still hurt as much as if I had said I love you, because I do love you.

The other night I laid awake next to you, and I whispered into your sleeping ear, "I love you". I don't think you heard it, and you don't have to hear it, because I know you know, that I know, that we both know.

I reach my hand out for you, and you take it, and I skip and you laught at me, it should be so much easier, I should just get to fall asleep next to you! I just want to love you, be by your side, boost you and kiss you.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

All I know is that I don't know

How do you know, sha has asked me several times, and the answer is that I don't know, I don't, but I do know at the same time. I know that I feel just right with her, that I can't stop smiling after she kissed me. I just know that I feel so comfortble with her and that I can't help myself but long for the feeling of her skin against me.

She is what she is, and I am what I am.

Her eyes follows me when I walk around the room, I know she likes me, we both just like each other, even if the warmth in our words and in the touch speaks of love.