Did you know that and I

''In Switzerland assisted suicide is legal'', she looks at me and I know she doesn't want to die, she doesn't want to die, and I don't want to die. Not anymore...

Maybe once, a long time ago when we met we both wanted to die, I hated the world, mostly because I hated myself at the most.

I used to wish that I was just like common people, and I am not like common people, my eyes see the world different, someone bent and shaped me different, and I could see through people... I was never good at faking. I could only play along, I could never be the lead actress, because I always knew that a battle was lost or won before it began...

and there is no charm in always being right

So I know that when she tells me that Switzerland allows assisted suicide, that means nothing... absolutley nothing but a conversation starter... for now...

Bloody nose and I

I knew who she was, I was wildly attracted by her, and we danced all night. I was in her town, but we got lost, our friends dragged us to different bars, and hte night never seemed to end. I was sitting in a hotel lobby, I had a room htere, but my friends where still in the lobby, all taking swigs out of a gallon bottle of whiskey. Someone passed me a swig and I tried to steal Erik's pretzel. My phone made me aware that she was on her way, and I refused to be pulled away from the lobby by my friends that once again went to look for more adventures.
When she arrived I was by myself with the empty whiskey bottle and still chewing on a pretzel, and I was about as shy as her. She took my hand and I followed. I woke up in the early morning, alcohol still making my world fuzzy around the edges and a slight headache, and all of a sudden my nose started bleedin. No trickeling, no dripping, it was like a faucet, I grabbed a sock from the floor, trying to stop the blood.
It ignored me, it kept on bleeding, so there I found myself, sitting on the floor, next to a passed out naked girl with blood allover my face and just feeling awkward, hoping she would not wake up.

You said it and I

Reality might hit me over and over, I still refuse to listen. I walked for hours today, speaking of nothing with a friend.

Mina drömmar och jag

Jag vet inte om jag är kär, för vi träffades så flyktigt, våra kroppar smälte samman, vi fann varandra för en natt, i skratt, i nakenhet och ord. Jag vaknade på morgonen, vi lämnade varandra vid en portuppgång efter en kyss, vi gick åt varsitt håll, hon över bron och jag åt mitt med flyg.
Jag vet att vi ses igen, när jag somnar minns jag hennes mjuka händer på min rygg, och jag minns konturerna av hennes kropp, tätt intill min, jag minns hur hon andades mot min hals.
Vi kanske inte känner varandra, men jag drömmer om henne och hon om mig. Vi har en ocean som separerar oss, men det spelar ingen roll, för jag vet att hon är vad jag letat efter. Kanske för en minut, en timme, en dag, månad år eller kanske för resten av mitt liv. Jag vet inte vilket... men jag vet att en dag skall våra vägar åter korsas, och tills dess lever hon i mitt hjärta, i ord som blippar in elektroniskt i min dator och i känslan som lever kvar på mina fingertoppar.

Her eyes and I

I woke up, and she looked at me, her eyes piercing my soul, reaching for that magical me. In her eyes I was everything I could be.

A breif moment and I

She was sleeping next to me
and i was there
and so was she
and i didn't know
yet
that she was the one I had been waiting for.

Summer is taking over and me

It is hot outside, and my feet are blistered, I live in a city, some people would claim it to be The City, to me it is just a city. My city is far away, with water clear and air that nourish my longing lungs. I am not there.

But I am here, and I am not one to complain, I love the humid air that makes me gasp for oxygen, I do appreciate the lack of quietness and I am one of the diverse. Women holding women close to each other and men flirting over the heads of orthodox Jews. The AC is blasting on the subway and the stench in Chinatown during the summer makes me change my walks.

Jeans in the city, I refuse, we all refuse, and slowly I have taken scissors to them all, made them into long shorts, and I straddle my bike no longer worried that cloth will kill me. Older ladies shaking their heads at my flip flops, but I don't care, life is to short to bother.