That thorn you planted in my heart

Damn you, how can you chose her over me?
I am wasting away here, for you.

Fall of the falling

In the North the fall comes with a few days of warning, and the winds bear with them a message of colder times.

 A change for something suited for cobblestone and icy winters comes along.

The fall has an air of promises of dark nights in the arms of comfort and loving words.

 Still that summer will leave you, in the last rays of the sun.

They will tell you that they have matters elsewhere and walk out of your life.

You will be left sitting in a Cafe staring into rain and falling leaves.

Your dreams and hopes just fell into the fall, and your tears are just like the rain on the window.

The fall is complete.

Holding your breath

The sun is raising over the frozen landscape that is flying by outside my train window.
This is my world.
The darkness of the winter is chased away by the bleak morning sun.
This is your world.
We are still heading towards darker times, and I miss your touch.

Growing pains...

I don't really know what it means to "grow up",
I have a part-time job, I own an apartment, I've been to over 34 countries and I speak three languages. 
I read graphic novels and I have a degree in Political Science. 
I compost and love gardening, I love to ski, snowboard and hike. 
I sit around in my apartment, for days, just to do art and paint furniture. 
I spend lots of time coaching and playing a sport that has no money in it. 
I just signed up for a trail-run race,even if I hate running, but I like a challenge. 
All my best friends are couples and I cook dinners for friends.
In January I'm taking a practical class in winter camping in the mountains, because I wanna know more. I am learning to bake vegan and gluten-free, so I can bake for my friends. I am just as social as I have ever been, always on the go, but sometimes I hate people. 
I write short stories and I have random projects with different people. I don't have a husband nor any children... I did fall in love, and I think it is it, but hes begs to differ so I guess not.

Am I a big kid or am I a grown up?

I saw a church today

Today I walked from training to see a friend at her house in a different part of town. I passed this church, and it reminded me about an event me and a friend arranged 20 years ago. She introduced me to the riot girls movement, and we read zines that got from someone that got the from someone. We read about this event "We take the night back". And we decided to "take the night back", to have a rally against violence against women. I used the copy machine at my moms work and did the fliers. Me and my friend went around and placed those at cafes we knew had people with opinions like ours. People we knew existed, but didn't really know. We were sort of shy. We called ourselves the "Black widows"... well, at least that we signed our fliers with, I think we thought it sounded cool, the black widow eating the male after sex... I don't think either of us really thought that anyone would show up, of course we were hoping but we weren't really expecting it.
A week later, on the date we had decided on we are standing on an square in Old Town, and people are showing up. Not just four or five, no more like 40-50... And I look at my friend, and she looks at me... And people are starting to ask each other, who are the people behind this? I am 15 and shy. So my friend steps up on a bench, wearing black, black jeans, black hoodie and calls for action. We say things like "let's take the night back" "Women should not be afraid" "We are not scared" "Those are OUR streets". And we all start walking down the street, yelling and chanting. It's powerful, me and my friend are both glowing, because we feel the power of a cause, of daring to stand up for what we believe in and feeling that there are others that share what we feel, and we are with them. We made this happen! Why I thought about this when I saw this church? Because this is where we got rounded up by the police in the end. We didn't get arrested, I guess the police didn't think two teenage girls could have organized it... I do think that maybe the police took a few guys in for questioning. Next day there was a small text about it in the national newspaper... I saved it..

You will always be a part of my heart

it is true
you will always be a part

you can say whatever you want

but you did not want to

it is about priorities

and I was not yours

I wish you just would have told me

I wish you just would not have hidden

Cannot sleep

I miss sleeping next to you and I miss our conversations

I miss your arms around me, and I miss who we are together

I miss myself in my garden, with you looking and smiling at me