The smell of summer and me

Once upon a time I was a mailman, I had a bike that I delivered mail on, it was yellow old and as sturdy as they come.

It was summer and the world smelled like warm pine...

Spending time with me and me

I grew up far from where I am now, I grew up where neighborhoods were safe and children played on the streets. I grew up with clean tap water, bruised knees, lakes on sea and sailing. I dreamed of that place the other night, I remembered how it all smelled, I remembered walking to school. I was eight years old and i walked with two of my best friends, we took short cuts over peoples backyards, we laughed and climbed. If we ran into someone that lived in the house they would smile at us and we would giggling ran away. My knees were skinned and hands and feet hardened by climbing everything that came in my way, I lived a dream that I did not know was a dream. I wore Carl Larsson dresses and I someone put a spider in my little brothers hair. I had a lisp as a child and they tried to make me understand why 16.00 was the same as 4pm. I was a studious child with and imagination way beyond, I loved every book to bits and pieces and I could see through people.
Your life will never be easy when you can read people like open books, not when empathy runs in your blood. I do think that I might have won in the long run, I might have never loved and I might have lost a lot, but I am still standing.

Spending time with the Finn and me

I was bored, already before the Finn came into the coffee shop I was bored with her, and then she just ranted on about design my boredom grew. I just couldn't care any less, she only wanted to work at grand places, because a shitty design place would not understand her work, she was still months and month away from graduating. I had seen her illustrations, they were cute, but noting to them, but cute. I yawned, not literally, but my mind yawned and longed for a book to read. I had liked the small West Village coffee shop so much more before she had come.
I had to give her that, she really knew where all the nice coffee shops were, but we just had nothing in common, we shared nothing but the mere fact that we both had been born in Scandinavia and both missed our homes of origin. Even if her conversation seemed to drift towards wanting to move to my hometown. She wanted to get out of this loud and obnoxious town, and she asked if I knew any designers in Stockholm. I shook my head, but told her I might know some people in advertising. The Finn is a very tiny girl, she is delicate and dies her hair black, I wonder if you have to die your hair black to be an artist, maybe that is why I never really got into art, my hair just wouldn't turn black, it just turned all sorts of greenish dark.
The Finn let me know she was exhausted and she wanted more coffee, but her stomach just couldn't take anymore coffee. A typyical complain, just to complain, it wasn't even funny, cynical or anythign that mattered. She told me my stomach must be made out of tin, since I consumed a very redicoulus amount of coffee.
'Oh yeah' I thought to myself while trying to imagine what I would look like if I was all made out of tin. I laughed at myself, and the Finn looked at me as if I was crazy and I silently hoped she just hadn't told me about her father dying or something tragic. Aperently that wasn't the case and she kept on talking while I started to study a girl sitting in a corner reading a book. I wished I was her and longed after my book that was tucked into my bag under the table.

Lady Gaga and me

Times you left me behind and I

I was intoxicated and tired of it all, it wasn't morning yet, the water dark, it was quiet with a slight buzz of the city, but it was further away. I stepped closer to the water, I knew I was drunk, we were all drunk, and it was hot out. My body damp from sweat and limps tired of a night that never really seemed to end. I turned around to my friends, we had done this a thousand times before. Without hesitation we all took our clothes off, a few spared their underwear, I went all bare.
A last glance at each other and I took a few sprinting steps and lept into the dark waiting water, I let my body rush into the welcoming coolness, the sudden splash breaking the stillness being repalced by the complete quietness of the underwater world. My mind fled for a second, before I broke the surface and once again became one of all of us. My friends laughed, one made out with the boy she had met at the club. I laughed and let my body relax, I saw the first rays of sun break the dawn.
I think I loved and hated my life in that moment, it smelled like morning, and soon I would be walking home thru a sleeping bright city. On the way home I picked daisies out of the public flowerpots, kicked over by a drunk, dying on the streets, for someone that wasn't waiting for me at home.

So you said and I

It was an ordinary day, I woke up next to her, I made her coffee and I sat down on the bed next to her and served her the hot dark beverage. I looked into her light blue eyes, my back was hurting and the day was just like any other day.
'My back hurts' I made a face as I told her that, a funny face, but at the same time I knew she could read all that pain I actually was feeling into it.
'Too much skating, you really should take it easier on yourself' she put her hand on my shoulder.
I shrugged, I hated when she had opinions on my chosen life, I currently did exactly what I wanted, and skating was my passion, drugs or no drugs. She leaned over and grabbed a cigarette from the nightstand, I could tell she was tired, not at all wanting to get out of bed. I hated the taste and smell of cigarettes in the morning.
'Babe, will you grab me the lighter' she gave me the puppydog face, and of course I could not say no to her.
'I hate when you smoke in bed, especially on early mornings, it's so fucking tacky' I said while I reached over and grabbed a lighter out of her pants on the floor.
'Uhhh, uhhhmm' she nodded while she lit her cigarette and blew the smoke my way. 'I guess I am a real tacky girl, good thing I have a body to die for and that keeps you around' she started laughing.
'Gross, you are such a bitch',I glared at her jokingly.
'Gross? You think I am big, think I am fat??' she was refering to the German word Grosse that meant large. It sounded adorable in her accent, I was stille disghusted by her cigarette, but knew better than to bring it up again.

Falling down and me

I asked for you to grab my arm, hold me above the water, let me breath, and so you did. You only provided me with enough air to just live, and I lived, very very closely to how you wanted me to be. I lost myself a long time ago, and I am quite sure it aint gonna be different, ever again!

That one day you left me behind

You said you knew me, but you never did.