She woke up next to him, she ran her fingers through
his hair , and he kept on sleeping She loved him, the feeling of loving him
filled her. She inched closer, put her nose against his narrow neck. The faint
scent of skin and detergent lingering filled her nostrils. The scent of him
always made her feel safe. He always slept completely still. He had that in him
since the Marines. He had been in the Special Forces and she still did not
understand what that really meant, it was before they met. She had such a hard
time to imagine how he could have carried a gun, shot a gun and been ready to
kill. She knew it made it hard for him to love, hard for him to trust, but his
loyalty was total. Semper Fi, he would say to her. She once had joked about
getting water boarded and the horror of it, he had shrugged and told her it
wasn’t too bad. His anger never scared her, she knew he would never hurt anyone
that didn’t deserve it. She could see how he would clench his jaws, his blue
eyes turn dark, how he was fighting an inner rage. There was so kept inside
him, and it pained her to know there was nothing she could do to unknot him. She wanted to kiss him, but he wouldn’t
let her. All she did was sleep close to him and love him as much as she could.
She hated the war that had turned him into this. The war he never had to fight,
but still formed him into cold emotions that refused her every day since they
met.
She fell asleep again.
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