words: Searing, tranquility, visceral

Situation: having never lost more

She stood on the top of the building, her mind was searing, her thoughts scattered. She had a feeling like she had lost something, something that was really dear to her. She let her body slump down against the chimney, she was very aware of how she got there, she had climbed the ladder that was on the side of the building. She was scared of heights, but she was driven by a force inside of her, to get away.

The buzzing of the city, that she was in the middle of, did her little good, she could appreciate the city for what it was but she could never call it home.

The sun was rising and she felt how her face was slowly thawing, how the tears that were frozen in her eyes where slowly running down her face.

 She felt tired, she was tired of running, she wanted to go back to bed, to the warm man that was sleeping inside. Let her limbs relax and feel that tranquility she always felt next to him.  Feel his arms wrap around her, the softness of his skin, drawing her closer, that visceral feeling that she was safe, that she could stay. His hands softness against her skin and his breath against her neck.

But she couldn’t, because he wasn’t alone, someone else was in his bed, sleeping next to him, her arms wrapped around him, their naked bodies emptied out. A condom wrapper on the floor.

So she climbed down, walked into her garden, let her feet sink into the soft cold soil and turned her face towards the sun.

Later that day when he watered the garden he saw that the sunflowers had wilted.